Through the Valley: How Our Struggles Shape Us With Matthew McKinnon

My name’s Matthew, and when I was sixteen, life gave me a curveball I didn’t see coming: a brain cancer diagnosis.

I didn’t know what to do with it. One minute I was just being a regular teen, and the next I was staring down questions way too big for someone that age. The ground beneath me shifted, and so did the way I saw the world.That was my first real “valley.”

Valleys aren’t always obvious. Sometimes they’re loud and life-changing. Other times, they sneak up on you in quiet ways like grief, burnout, feeling stuck, or even just change that arrives before you’re ready for it.

The thing is, we all walk through them eventually.

They can feel frustrating, inconvenient, even unfair. But something unexpected happens when you stop fighting the valley and start walking through it. You begin to see what’s possible because of the challenge, not just in spite of it.

For me, that looked like learning to stop asking, “Why me?” and instead asking, “Why not me? What can I learn from this?” It wasn’t easy. But that shift, moving from resistance to curiosity, gave me something I didn’t know I needed.

What I realized was this: I can’t always choose what happens. But I can choose how I respond. And even when the path ahead feels blurry, taking just the next right step is often enough.

When we choose to take responsibility for how we respond to the valleys in our lives, rather than simply allowing ourselves to be pushed around by them, they lose control over us. By being intentional in our steps, we can begin to move forward through the valley.

One more thing? Valleys don’t last forever. They’re seasons. And just like seasons, they shift. Eventually, you come out the other side. Changed, yes. And depending on how you respond, often stronger.

That valley I went through at sixteen didn’t just shape who I was then. It shaped who I am now. It taught me that pain can become perspective, and struggle can lead to strength.

These days, I see valleys differently. Not as roadblocks, but as opportunities.

So here’s my question to you: What valley are you in, or have you already walked through, that could shape the way you lead, live, or grow?

It might not feel like it yet, but something powerful could be waiting on the other side.